[inblack]

This is just a short story I wrote today. I haven't written anything in years so it probably isn't very good. If you want more let me know and I will do another chapter.



Chapter 1

I waited until I heard the door close behind her. I wanted to be alone. My mom had a tendency to open my bedroom door without knocking Thats how she caught me the last time. I couldn't take anymore chances. I quickly went back upstairs to my bedroom and closed the door for good measure. I looked at myself in the mirror. I was such a disgrace to my family and friends. Here I was, a 15 year old girl who seemed to have everything. A family who loved and cared for her, friends, good grades, a boyfriend...everything. Yet there was an empty feeling deep inside me that could not be filled no matter how hard I tried, it still lingered. I walked to my closet and opened the door, scanning the shelf quickly my eyes rested on my little brown box. I took out the box and opened it on my bed. It had all the supplies I needed, razors, tissue, disinfectant, I checked them off silently in my head. I rolled up my sleeve, my arm was full of fresh cuts from only yesterday and I was beginning to run out of room. I found a fresh patch of skin and pressed down instantly feeling a wave of relief. Just as I was beginning my fifth cut I heard the door bell.

"SH--! Okay don't panic," I said to myself. "Its probably just a salesman...." I tried reassuring myself.

The fresh cuts on my arm were starting to seep blood and I pressed one of the tissues against my arm hoping that the pressure would slow down the bleeding. I threw on my favorite white knitted sweater and headed downstairs. Upon opening the door I was greeted with a bouquet of beautiful tulips, hiding behind them was a familiar face.


"Justin! Wow, whats the occasion?" I was so surprised by the flowers I forgot about the pain in my arm.

"You're the occasion sweetie, I wanted to do something nice for you," Justin put the flowers in my hands and let himself into the house.

I was stunned for a moment, "let me put these in some water," I finally said. "They're so beautiful Justin, thank you. You really didn't have to do this."

"I wanted to baby. Besides, I couldn't wait until school on Monday to see you!"

I began filling a vase with some water and chopping the stems off the flowers. Justin came up and put his strong arms around my waist and began kissing my neck and then my cheek. I let myself sink into him and feel his warmth.

"Sarah," he said with a touch of concern in his voice, "you're bleeding."

It was then I remembered my arm. Looking down I could see the blood had seeped through my sleeve. What could I say? Justin didn't know about my cutting. We had been dating for 9 months now and I had been cutting myself since long before then. I wore long sleeves at all times. I never let him see me without my sweaters on, unless the light was off and even then I was careful. How could I have screwed up now? I wanted to slap myself. The vase began to overflow with water and I snapped back to reality. Turning off the tap I said, "oh, yeah...its nothing....just a little scrape."

"Let me see, it looks like its been bleeding pretty bad."

"No Justin, its fine!" I snapped. There was no reason for him to be suspicious and I hoped he'd drop the conversation.

"Sarah, let me see your arm. At least take off your sweater, the blood is going to ruin it. If its just a scrape lets go clean it and put a band-aid on it."

"Justin, just let it drop okay?"

"No, its not okay. Whats wrong with you? Its not a big deal, I don't understand why you won't let me take a look at it." He had turned me around to face him now and he had a serious look on his face. I knew being stubborn would only make him pursue the matter further but I didn't know what else to do.

"Okay fine I will go to the bathroom and clean it up. Happy now?" I began walking to the bathroom but I could hear him following close behind me. I shouldn't have been so stubborn I thought. I was going over a million different responses I could have had in the first place that would have helped avoid this whole situation. Why couldn't I have acted surprised and gone to the bathroom in the first place? Why did I have to make him so suspicious? Obviously now he's wondering why I won't show him my arm. "Could you please finish putting the flowers in the vase for me?" I asked him, hoping he'd leave me alone.

"Sure babe, just let me help you with that arm first."

"Its okay, I'll be fine. I really don't want those flowers to dry out. "

"They can wait 10 minutes babe, don't worry. Roll up your sleeve and lets take a look at your arm."

"Justin, please leave me alone. I can do this myself! I don't need you to take care of me!" I was getting really defensive now.

"Sarah, whats wrong with you? Why won't you show me your arm? I will make you if I have to, I don't want to have to, but I will." I didn't even respond. I just stood there looking at our reflections in the bathroom mirror. This was it. He was going to find out everything. He was going to find out and break up with me, or worse, break up with me and tell my parents what I had done to myself. All of a sudden I felt him grab my arm. I tried to pull away but he was holding me too tightly. I struggled but it was too late, he yanked up my sleeve.