[zowie]

My new years resolutions are: To lose weight, to tone up, to not be in hospital anymore, TO NOT HURT MYSELF ANYMORE.
Well. I went to my 'best friend's' party and she didn't talk to me unless I asked her a question, like 'where's the ashtray?'
My 'boyfriend' told me he wouldn't kiss me at midnight
Then my boyfriend's best mate offered me some coke. Which I took because I thought it would make me more sociable and that my 'friends' would like me more.
It made me throw up all over the floor and my trousers.
So everyone thought I was too drunk, my 'best friend' was pissed off at me because I spewed on her floor, and my 'boyfriend' said he was obliged to walk me home even though he was planning to leave anyway.
I am officially the worst person ever.
I have gone one month and two and a half weeks without hurting myself. My dad has really helped me get to where I am, but when I phoned him and asked if I could come to him or he could come to me he said no. He's only up the road and he's not drinking. I don't think he knows that his company will stop me from harming, but I don't want to tell him.
Arrrgghhhh. I bet this year's going to be ****.