Hi Snoopdragon,
First off - congrats on making it 11 months free; that is an amazing achievement.
I'm sorry to hear about your nephew and your friend's sick baby. Death sometimes is so hard to understand. Have you ever been to a counselor or talked to someone to work through your nephew's death? Maybe talking about it could help somewhat?
You are not a waste of life; and you do deserve to live.. please be safe.
*offers hugs*
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