I can completely inderstand how much this has hurt you. I know it takes a LOT to trust someone, particularly with the things that come with mental illness but the people she will tell will be people she thinks will be able to help you. They will be professionals who see these sort of things everyday- they will only want to help you.
I'm so glad you kept yourself safe last night and today- i'm so proud of you. I recently lost a friend to suicide and i cannot explain how it made me feel. I've been suicidal myself but the feeling of being left behind is at least twice as worse. Please think about how the people close to you would feel- would you honestly want them to feel the way you feel now?
Look after yourself hun, i'm always here if you want to talk.
xx
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