I so much appreciate your response Iz!
My second work is a blast! I dont mind working so much because I am not so suicidal , thinking of cutting, or woriied about finances.
My scars are triggering me though. When I had a slight tan they faded a lot more. I have a bunch of amoeba like scars as well as the rail road stiched lines and when I reach for an item they seem to stand out to me. I know that a few people have glimpsed, one person had commented--all innocent.
I did call a doctor today and set an appointment for January 6th. I will try to stay clean of fresh wounds at least until one week longer... for the pictures that will be taken on Christmas. I did tell them that I was deppressed but also have not had a complete "woman" exam since *cough cough* 6 weeks after my 11 year old daughter was born. They will do the full blood work and all, so we shall see what comes my way.
It will be a good Christmas for the kids. I am actually excited this year. But I hate feeling so hyper/so blue everday. I want everyone to think I am ok. I do not think I really am...staying busy just post pones the crash or self inflictions.
Thanks again, sorry for the rant
Rain
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