Originally Posted by
nikki2291
Me and him just had a talk while he gets ready for work, and he did say that it was an empty threat that he used as a deterent although he admits that it wasn't the best thing to say. He did say though that if it happens and I do go to deep that he is only a phone call away and that he will not kick me out. That he will go to the hospital with me or whatever I need. That takes a big stress off of my mind although I am sure it will still be there as I am the kind of person to dwell on things.
I'm glad that went well and you spoke to him then :) guess I need to have more trust in human nature
The thing that scared me the most about the other night and going to deep (my BF is trained in first aid and said that it would have needed stitches) is that I liked it, how fu*ked up is that? I could literally see inside my arm, and actually SEE a vein (my BF says that had nicked it). And I liked it. It felt so good to sit there and watch my blood run outta my arm and onto the floor.
I was so scared the other night but at the same time (or I may be triggered again right now, I'm not sure) I loved it, loved seeing all the blood.
I think some people find that...
is there some way that you could speak to someone and get them to rush through your support or someething? A way that you could get help more quickly?
Good grief what is wrong with me? Why am I such a monster? I'm horrid and disgusting..
you're not a monster, nor horrid, nor discusting