You don't have to feel ashamed
I'm sorry you went through all of that hun, but it sounds like you wern't very well at the time so you can't be held accountable for your actions really.
I know how you feel though. I have lots of flashbacks of being restrained and injected and it's pretty scary. If I hear a noise like an alarm I start to shake, and if I see policemen (I was sectioned by the police) I totally freak out.
I just have to reassure myself that I'm safe now and It's in the past and I don't have to be afraid anymore and tell myself that I was ill and I wasn't in the right state of mind.
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