seriously don't contact him... no matter what you say or ask he'll never admit what he did, he can't, that's not how it works... he'll just find some way to make you feel you're to blame, he'll use any excuse or lie to get to this result or one like it. you'll ed up feeling worse than you do now...
I know you want answers or for him to show some sign of acknowledgment of what he did, but really you'll be searching forever... the best thing for you to do is to cut him out of your life completely
as for the nightmares... as is said above I don't think people usually say much audible in sleep, let alone understandable to others, so I'm sure you're not going to reveal anything to anyone if that's waht you're worried about.
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