Hopefully this reply will be more coherent than my previous ones, I am feeling more together today.
I don't allow my alters to speak in therapy partly because I think they have no right to take up my time when I was created first, I'm afraid of what they will say, and I'm afraid Jade will hurt the therapist. I'm also afraid I will sound either nuts or ridiculous, tbh.
Jade hates me, but she hates everything and everyone. When she comes out, bad things happen and I have gotten in trouble before because of it. She is just out to hurt everyone before they can hurt her, I think.
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