I'm sorry that you're not getting the support that you need and deserve, having to wait for support for so long and having people leave can be very frustrating. Are there other GPs in your surgery that you could maybe be transferred to? You have the right to change your GP if you are not happy with them, perhaps you could see someone at another surgery if there are no other GPs in your area. Some GPs don't have a great deal of knowledge about mental health but there are others who know a lot more. Do you know any techniques for coping with the chronic pain? There are many books that might be helpful, or you could try searching on the internet.
It's pretty annoying when people tell you that only you can help yourself, what do you think that your psych could do to support you? It is true that you need to be doing things for yourself but you also need others to help you to do those things. Why is it that you don't go out very often any more? Could you try to gradually build up the time that you spend out of the house? I think that getting out and seeing more of the world would be very beneficial for you and might help you to feel less alone. Perhaps you could look into joining groups in your local area to meet new people, although I know that can seem like a very scary thing to do. Also, there might be a befriending service in your area where someone could help you to get out and do things as they would do those things with you.
Sometimes it seems like there is no reason to live, but there are so many if you really open your eyes. What would you like to change in your life? What would be your ideal future, and what goals do you have? Working towards your goals in little steps can be really rewarding and allow you to feel that your life has a purpose. I hope that you are able to get the right support for you, please keep posting here if it helps. Get in touch if you need anything. Take care.
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