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one_step_closer · 29-11-2008, 05:42 PM

Thank you.

The next three, with my own thoughts, I haven't discussed them with my psychologist yet. She wants to go more slowly because I got upset about the first three but I just want to keep moving forward as quickly as possible.

Defectiveness/shame

This schema refers to the belief that one is internally flawed, and that, if others get close, they will realise this and withdraw from the relationship. This feeling of being flawed and inadequate often leads to a strong sense of shame. Generally, parents were very critical of their children and made them feel as if they were not worthy of being loved.

I don't remember anyone being hugely critical of me. There were some mild things. I am internally flawed though. I was messing things up before I was even born and I couldn't have developed a schema before birth. I have no idea if this is a primary or a secondary schema.

Failure

This schema refers to the belief that one is incapable of performing as well as one's peers in areas such as career, school, or sports. These clients may feel stupid, inept, untalented, or ignorant. People with this schema often do not try to achieve because they believe that they will fail. This schema may develop if children are put down and treated as if they are a failure. Usually the parents do not give enough support, discipline, and encouragement.

I do feel like this, but not hugely. No one has ever made me feel like a failure because I haven't ever objectively been one. I've always been in the top achieving part of classes and have been made aware of that. I just feel like nothing I do is right, like when I got 85% for an essay, it could have been greater so in my mind I failed.

Dependence/incompetence

This schema refers to the belief that one is not capable of handling day to day responsibilities competently and independently. People with this schema often rely on others excessively for help in areas such as decision making and initiating new tasks. Generally, parents did not encourage these children to act independently and develop confidence in their ability to take care of themselves.

I was encouraged to act independently, i'm sure. I don't know where this has come from. I'm guessing it's secondary probably because I have become an idiot. Depression has made me feel unable to do many things by myself.

29-11-2008, 05:42 PM	#4
one_step_closer The Shadow of the Day Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Scotland	Thank you. The next three, with my own thoughts, I haven't discussed them with my psychologist yet. She wants to go more slowly because I got upset about the first three but I just want to keep moving forward as quickly as possible. Defectiveness/shame This schema refers to the belief that one is internally flawed, and that, if others get close, they will realise this and withdraw from the relationship. This feeling of being flawed and inadequate often leads to a strong sense of shame. Generally, parents were very critical of their children and made them feel as if they were not worthy of being loved. I don't remember anyone being hugely critical of me. There were some mild things. I am internally flawed though. I was messing things up before I was even born and I couldn't have developed a schema before birth. I have no idea if this is a primary or a secondary schema. Failure This schema refers to the belief that one is incapable of performing as well as one's peers in areas such as career, school, or sports. These clients may feel stupid, inept, untalented, or ignorant. People with this schema often do not try to achieve because they believe that they will fail. This schema may develop if children are put down and treated as if they are a failure. Usually the parents do not give enough support, discipline, and encouragement. I do feel like this, but not hugely. No one has ever made me feel like a failure because I haven't ever objectively been one. I've always been in the top achieving part of classes and have been made aware of that. I just feel like nothing I do is right, like when I got 85% for an essay, it could have been greater so in my mind I failed. Dependence/incompetence This schema refers to the belief that one is not capable of handling day to day responsibilities competently and independently. People with this schema often rely on others excessively for help in areas such as decision making and initiating new tasks. Generally, parents did not encourage these children to act independently and develop confidence in their ability to take care of themselves. I was encouraged to act independently, i'm sure. I don't know where this has come from. I'm guessing it's secondary probably because I have become an idiot. Depression has made me feel unable to do many things by myself.
	I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much. Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass. You didn't come this far just to come this far.