What a special turn of events this week has brought. Appointment with therapist cancelled as I was pulling into the parking lot, she had an emergency. We rescheduled, that one has been cancelled, now they can't get me back in for two weeks. The "intrusive thoughts" are not as loud as they have been, but they are far more pervasive. I think I live in so much chaos that the whisper has more impact than the yelling. The quiet thoughts stick more than the loud ones.
I threw away a months worth of being SI free, I can't decide if it was worth it. I do know that I want to do more. Lovely addiction, decreasing benefit, increasing need to do it.
Its been two weeks without my evening meds, thinking that I should stop the morning ones too. Morning meds have always been easier to remember for some reason, plus my blood pressure medicines are part of the morning meds. If I skip those my head starts pounding by the afternoon so I have learned through pain not to miss the morning. I guess I don't have to include the antidepression meds when I take my morning pills. Wonder how long it will take to get to the point where the thoughts become action. Probably not very long at all.
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