Heh, i have those too. Yesterday talking to the doc i told him how scared i was that my neurosis would become psychosis. I have a constant "nasty Matthew" sniping at me all the time. I think of suicide pretty much each day. Usually the last thing at night and i wake up to it also. Im usually beating myself up mentally during the day and completely un-doing any good that has happened shortly after its happened.
So i gues i can kinda relate.
My advice and its not easy is distraction. If you are depressed you probabyl dont have the energy to move or motivate yourself to do anything but when i can get out i feel a lot better. Just oging to the shop or picking up a prescription or raking some leaves or walking the dog takes my mind away from the thoughts. 10 minutes of freedom can last a couple of hours.
Also watching some comedy helps too. not sure if you like comedy shows but i seriously recommend investing in some.
When my brain idles i think too much. My problem is i just cant find the motivation and energy to do something about it half the time, but when i do its so much more quiet.
Thoughs CAN be changed.
Matthew
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