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Intrusive thoughts
I seem to be struggling with what my doctor has termed "intrusive thoughts" They are negative things that seem to come from nowhere and dominate my mind.
Death, death, death - I can't get it out of my head, I need to be dead, I want to be dead, I should be dead. If I am lucky, something will make me dead. Now don't confuse this with being suicidal, it is close to that, but there is no action associated, it is just thoughts. Granted, if they continue, we all know the path this takes.
Cut, cut, cut - Every scar seems to glow, crying out for another next to it, just one more, right here, this would be a good time, no one will see it
Run, run, run - Where, I don't know, how, I am too fat and old to run anywhere. Escape, disappear, the world will be better if you are hidden away. The kids will be better without you, everything improves without you.
They continue, but I am rambling. Thoughts, suggestions, insights, insults, anything
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