I can understand why you may not see the traits in yourself, it's what commonly is termed a lack of insight. I understand that your experiences have seemed absolutely real to you, but do you not think there is the slightest chance that they may be hallucinations?
If your psychiatrist say's you have paranoia, well he must have seen some traits of it in you. I know it can be confusing and scary to have a diagnosis that doesn't seem to make sense to you. But do you think perhaps you could test out the hypothesis yourself and take the meds prescribed for a while and see if your unusual experiences stop. If they do stop/ lessen in intensity, do you think perhaps it would be easier to admit they were hallucinations?
Take care
xxx
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