You're not lazy - just look at what you've done, you've got through College and graduated despite all the extra stuff you've had to deal with - that's like having 2 jobs at once and you've acheived it. I know it's horrible to feel that everyone else is getting on with thier life (though that's not necessarily the case, even if they have a job it may be the first thing that came along, not the right thing to do). You are applying for jobs and that will pay off, even if it doesn't feel like that right now.
Have you thought about doing some voluntary work? I did that when I left College because I didn't think anyone would ever want to employ me. It was a good way to meet people (all sorts of people, and that was really good for me as well), have something productive to do, impresses employers, it helped me get out of bed in the morning and sometimes suprised me to find what I thought I'd enjoy and what I did enjoy were sometimes different...! And I ended up changing direction quite a bit, but that's been great because I'm doing what I enjoy rather than what I thought I should enjoy (and it led to paid work).
Anyway, sweetie, hang on in there. You're doing really well, even if it doesn't feel like it right now.
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