first off, *hugs* and welcome.
I can hear how frustrated and tired you are. Im sorry your experience of counselling has been so unhelpful and pretty much harmful. I dont blame you being cynical and put-off by the whole thing. I was too, I met many 'doctors' who sound the kin of your experience! I gave up looking for a few years as i doubted i would ever find someone to actually help. Well, it took me 8 years of looking and I finally have found that person. But you are right; we can't change the past but we CAN learn a new way to live with it, a way that we can look at it differently and a little more kindly to ourselves.
I know it's likely the last thing you want to hear, but i think you need to look again for someone who is willing to help you for just that reason; to honestly help. It's a bitch, its ten-fold harder than it should be, but it IS worth it when you finally find that right person.
Keep posting; we're all here to listen and help however we can. Pls PM if you like ok?
thinking of you
romp
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