i am so sorry about your grandfather losing someone who you deeply love and care for is extremally painful. Theres no time frame of when you will get over it maybe you will never completly get over it but there will be a day when it doesn't hurt so much. Maybe right now you need to concentrate not on getting rid of the urges but getting through an hour then the next hour and so on, which i know is easier said then done. Do you have any support from professionals? While i know its not the same as talking to someone who knows you i am here if you wold like to talk just message me and i will reply as soon as i can.
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