Hunni, you deserve help as well. So what if you can hold it in? The fact that you've got things to hold in is a problem in itself *hugs*. If there wasn't a problem, then in your quiet moments you wouldn't want to harm... to restrict. Surely everyone who feels the need to hurt themselves deserves some sort of help?
Put yourself in my shoes... I'm sitting here reading a post about someone who feels that low they consider harming themselves, and DO harm themselves. If you were me, what would you say to them? You'd say that they need help, and deserve help....Yes other people may have it worse, but you have it worse than a lot of other people too. It doesn't mean that you shouldn't get the help that you need.
Someone once gave me the scenario of a pressure cooker. By holding in the feelings that you've got, the pressure under the lid is building up and up. And what happens when the pressure gets too high? The lid blows off and the contents spill everywhere. That's the breakdown that you were talking about. Other people might get to that point sooner than you, but you'll get there too if you keep holding in your feelings..... but if you were to get help, and let the pressure out slowly, then you wont have the explosion where you breakdown.
As you said hun, you're over 18 so don't have to worry about confidentiality.... so please try and think about it? It's got to be worth giving it a try hunni. I'm similar to you in that I've put off help as much as possible... but I've given in, and booked my first appointment at uni on Tuesday. I'm terrified, but I know it's for the best.
Take care hunni, and PM me if you want a chat
*hugs*
Chrissy
xxx
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