First of all a very big well done on making it two years, that is amazing and definetely something to be proud of. As far as asking for help please don't feel bad about it, its what we are here for. It doesn't matter that you have been away from here for awhile, you still deserve the support.
Don't feel bad about slipping up, its part of recovery. Just try and see it as a slight bump in the road of recovery. Its understandable things have gotten bit on top of you and the urges have increased. Adjusting to life back at home after being away for that long can be difficult so give yourself time to adjust to it all and be easy on yourself.
You can fight this, you don't need to self harm. You deserve to be looked after not causing yourself anymore pain. Perhaps you could write a list someone of all the reasons you don't want to self harm and then pin it up somewhere you are going to see it or even have it wherever your tools are soo you have to read that before you make the choice to self-harm so at least it gives you a proper chance to think it through. Please feel free to PM me if you ever need anything.
Take care and best of luck
Kat xxx
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