[pixiedust]

Sorry for posting again but I've been doing a lot of thinking tonight and I think I might have worked something out. I'll try and explain it here.

There's 3 parts of me. There's me, little me and Her. Me is how I am most of the time. I'm the one everyone knows. Me wants to change and wants to get better, at least at the moment. Little me is me as a child. She feels scared and alone sometimes but likes to play and have cuddles. Mummy and daddy sometimes see little me at home. Her is the horrible part. Her bullies me and little me. Her tries to destroy me. I hear Her as part of the voices in my head. Sometimes Her is joined by her friends and they shout at me too. Only I know Her. I've tried explaining Her to my old psychiatrist once I think. Haven't mentioned her to anyone else. But I've worked out - it's Her who's stopping my recovery. It's like when someone challenges me about the way I think about myself. Her always steps in and is resistant. Me tries to change but Her won't. I think I may have to explain this when I go for CBT. I mean, me can also be self-destructive at times and thinks bad about me but it's different. Me is more logical rather than absolute and unchanging.

I just wondered whether anyone could relate or whether it's just me going mad. I actually feel quite positive about working this out because I now feel I know which part of me to work on.