Originally Posted by
Stellata
It makes total sense that as I find my voice that has been locked away all my life, the things I say often are what would have been better said *back then*. It's like playing back voicemail that's not been accessed for 38 years.
Earlier in the year after an OD, I saw a nurse from the mh liaison team who have seen many times before. He said that he had spoken to my CPN who had expected me to do something as we had recently started to discuss things from the past. The way the liaison team guy explained it to me was that my current reactions - the impulsiveness, etc are how I dealt with it at that age and I now need to be able to deal with the memories and thoughts in a way more befitting of my age but to get to that stage I had to be able to remember how it was at that time, which will cause pain. I have to know what it is that is causing me to act how I am currently and then deal with it properly.
Sorry, I'm waffling. I guess I'm trying to say that although not going through formal therapy for things (waiting for my out of area referral), I am starting to have to deal with hurtful situations from the past and I understand how difficult that can be.
*hugs*