Well done for talking to people at your church, even if you didn't say much, it's a great step to take!
Do you think you could write down the way you feel and what you think might help the situation amd then give it to one of your elders or your friend. That way it doesn't matter if you freeze up and you can explain exactly how you feel without talking face to face with someone. Is there anywhere you can write down your feelings and thoughts as you go throughout the day when you can't get on here, that way you don't forget? I spend a lot of time working on my computer and have so many documents that have random ramblings about different things that were bothering me and it helped me to write about them straight away.
Well done for going 11 days without SI, that's fantastic! I know what you mean about how good it feels to go back to it. I also know how scary it is to think about stopping and yes it probably will get harder but it will get easier too. What's scaring you most about booking an appointment with your doctor?
It's great that you're thinking about going to a support group, you're braver than I ever was! I can't imagine that any SI support group would turn away anyone who SI's whether they are currently SIing or not. Can you find any more information on the group before you go if you are worried about it? Or would your friend who knows you SI be willing to go with you just whilst you check it out?
Really hope that you are ok *hug*
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