That is a long list of negtive thought and for-thought (fortune telling). The key here is to allow yourself to think what if? what if you go to University and for the firs time in your life you do fit in??
Not much of what you have written can be say for definate and none of it is set in stone. Life is in constant flux, do not give up on it before you get the chance to experience it and find out all the positives you may otherwise have missed.
Roiben x
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