please please please don't give up now. I don't it all feels pointless now but things change, if nothing else is definite in life, the only thing that is, is that things WILL change. what you were writing about in your other thread aboutonly seeing your mum when you have dinner reminds me exactly of what my life was like before i left the house i lived with my dad and brother in, i didnt spend any time with them because they didnt like my behaviour a lot of which was caused by either depression / mania or other s*** going on in my head. i dont know if its like that for you but i think the best thing is to either move out when you can [is what i did] or the perhaps better option, to try and explain how things are to your mum.
you dont know that all these negative things you described will happen for sure and they most likely wont, its only determined by how you feel NOW. these things can be dealt with, howver hard and pointless it all seems it can be worked on and things can be done so that u feel better.
it will be worth it. you deserve to be happy. i can identify with the anger you described in your other thread too. i used to shout, f and blind and the lot at my dad through pure anger and frustration and thats not my nature either as im sure it isnt yours.
sorry to have rambled on but i felt i wanted to say all that because i've been in a similat situation and been depressed for months getting on for years because of it but things changed when i moved away from that set up.
(many hugs if you want them)
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