[melda]

Although I am not one to like being the centre of attention I feel like I have been using my illness to get attention from different people. Like when I was in hospital I self harmed and tried to kill myself to get attention from the staff to try and let them know how desperate I was feeling. I feel that if I get better then people wont want anything to do with me and I wont get any attention . It feels like Im only important because I am ill. I know I shouldnt be thinking like that and I shouldnt be wanting the attention but I just cant help it and I dont know how to stop my brain being like that, I hate it so much I dont know what to do.