I can relate to what you are saying! When i took on my job i was stressed from the first day to when i finally broke down. I hated it too. I didnt move from it. I did well too on the outside. I was a success i guess. But it was killing me. Worst thing is that i knew it but i was too frightened to admit it or do something about it. So i struggled for 4 years. I too can look back and i realise just how ill i was aswell. It was the first thing i thought of when i woke and the last thing before i slept. I know now i was in a terrible state and i honestly dont know how i lasted so long either.
However, hindsight is a wonderful thing. I have to accept that at the time i thought i was doing what was best for me. It may have not been the right thing but i thought i was doing what was best at the time.
Perhaps you were too? Although you see it now im sure you too were doing what you thought best at the time, regardless of how wrong it now seems!
You know that sometimes the best lessons in life arent knowing what we want but knowing and learning what we DONT want. Unfortunately the path to knowing the latter is usuqally far less enjoyable but probably far more beneficial!
Im glad you like your job!
*big hugs and a monkey i stole today from the park*
Matthew xxx
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