[Yellow]

ok...today is the day im supposed to get my pain meds. my insurance says its ready to be filled.
BUT....the SUPERIOR pharmacist insists that he wont fill it because its too early!!! wont fill it until tomorrow!!!
im hurting SOOOOO bad. the flashbacks torture my body. and i have major back problems!!!

the triggering part is that this has made me to feel HELPLESS. that is not a safe feeling for me. i feel like a child that has no control at all. i feel like im at the mercy of the pharmacist.

i want to hurt myself....everywhere....even down there....and YES i said that.

i havent harmed since i got out of the hospital. and i dont want a bullying BASTARD to cause me to.

i talked to my insurance company and they said they dont know why thet wont fill it.

ive been on the phone all morning trying to sort this out and ive failed.

I DONT WANT TO FEEL HELPLESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!