Do you think perhaps your depression is affecting your eating? Are you on prescribed medicine which could help with that? Putting on a fake mask is just going to put you under added stress and pressure which is going to make you more susceptible to cracking. Perhaps the college has a counsellor you could go to or perhaps there is a tutor you could talk to and explain that you are having a difficult time since you started. Is this a new college or is it somewhere you've been before?
I think irrespective of whether its new or not to you, it is a big change in your routine going back and this is bound to unsettle any one at first because we dont like change. Pherpas with a little more time to adjust you will start to feel a bit better and a bit stronger.
In the mean time try and push yourself to do healthy things. Sometimes when Im chronically depressed I find forcing myself to function actually helps. Not eating wont improve your mood, so if you can try and introduce something, even if its just like soups and smoothies and build up from there.
*hugs*
xxxx
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