I could tell you not to go through with it, but by your post, what would that achieve?
There's nothing I can really do through a website such as this but offer my support and tell you that things will not be better this way, that it is not the better option for you. I won't patronise you with the "suicide is a temporary solution" quote.
May I ask what you're waiting for? Perhaps for somebody to reach out and help you? Please do not do anything.
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