I have phases where Ive demanded to be discharged because Ive wanted to go it alone. Sometimes its because Ive just felt my relationship with professionals is poor and everything is getting a bit claustraphobic, other times its been because Ive been a bit destructive and Ive known my behaviour would land me in hospital if I kept seeing them, so i thought hey, get discharged and it'll be hunky dory and I wont be forced to get help. So I can quite see where you're coming from.
But Kath you do need some help right now. no one should have to cope alone with these huge feelings you have. There is no shame in asking for help and you owe it to yourself to give yourself a chance at something better. You clearly have a very intelligent understanding of whats going on with you- you know its killing you and you know that pushing everyone away is damaging you further. So please think about it.
Love xxx
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