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airwolf282 · 15-08-2008, 05:23 AM

Everything I try turns into a ****ing failure. And that's what I am, an A+ example of a failure. Just another one that slips through the cracks and into the darkness. I don't want to live anymore. I was in a program trying to get back into work but they had to cancel it because of beaurocratic red tape from the ****ing dumb **** government and they said that if I was to continue the program I would likely lose the pension that keeps me alive at the moment. Nobody in this stupid ****ing hick inbred redneck town will even think about hiring me because of the fact that I have been out of work for so long, have a mental illness and am over 21 so they have to pay full wages. What is it with these small minded ****ing idiots that makes them fear everything that they don't understand? I don't want to live in this ****ing place anymore that's just full of ****ing idiots. I don't get any ****ing support from the hospitals because I'm not a drug addict. I get little support from the government and they will do everything they can to stop me from accessing the support I need to get back on my feet. A family member calls me selfish, attention seeking and not a real man. Why are so many people so ****ing ignorant. I'm so saddened and so pissed off at the whole thing at the moment. I have started pulling and ripping my hair out, cut my wrist several times today after going many months without it. My wife is urging me to eat and I will only because she is home today, I normally don't have anything. I told her not to waste good money on food for a lost cause. Am I being selfish? Maybe I am just a selfish **** like my cousin says. Maybe I should just get over it and be a real man like she tells me to do. I have been trying so ****ing hard to make it work but everything I do ends in complete and total failure. I know there are people worse off but they are a lot stronger than I am because I couldn't live such a life. I know I have easily enough meds in my cupboard to kill me. I just have to get myself together and do it so I can finally rid myself of the world that is constantly rejecting me. Nobody would be able to **** me over anymore. And life can no longer punish me for causing my friend to commit suicide in February. I can tell the world to go and get ****ed because I'm going to a place where it can't hurt me anymore.

Nathan

15-08-2008, 05:23 AM	#1
airwolf282 Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Australia I am currently:	There is no ***ing hope graphic* Everything I try turns into a **ing failure. And that's what I am, an A+ example of a failure. Just another one that slips through the cracks and into the darkness. I don't want to live anymore. I was in a program trying to get back into work but they had to cancel it because of beaurocratic red tape from the ing dumb government and they said that if I was to continue the program I would likely lose the pension that keeps me alive at the moment. Nobody in this stupid ing hick inbred redneck town will even think about hiring me because of the fact that I have been out of work for so long, have a mental illness and am over 21 so they have to pay full wages. What is it with these small minded ing idiots that makes them fear everything that they don't understand? I don't want to live in this ing place anymore that's just full of ing idiots. I don't get any ing support from the hospitals because I'm not a drug addict. I get little support from the government and they will do everything they can to stop me from accessing the support I need to get back on my feet. A family member calls me selfish, attention seeking and not a real man. Why are so many people so ing ignorant. I'm so saddened and so pissed off at the whole thing at the moment. I have started pulling and ripping my hair out, cut my wrist several times today after going many months without it. My wife is urging me to eat and I will only because she is home today, I normally don't have anything. I told her not to waste good money on food for a lost cause. Am I being selfish? Maybe I am just a selfish like my cousin says. Maybe I should just get over it and be a real man like she tells me to do. I have been trying so ing hard to make it work but everything I do ends in complete and total failure. I know there are people worse off but they are a lot stronger than I am because I couldn't live such a life. I know I have easily enough meds in my cupboard to kill me. I just have to get myself together and do it so I can finally rid myself of the world that is constantly rejecting me. Nobody would be able to me over anymore. And life can no longer punish me for causing my friend to commit suicide in February. I can tell the world to go and get *ed because I'm going to a place where it can't hurt me anymore. Nathan Last edited by airwolf282 : 15-08-2008 at 10:58 AM.*
	"For those who fight for it, life has a flavour the sheltered never know" -Pinned to a noticeboard at the US Command Post in Khe Sanh. Tears of Solitude = my wonderful sister