Just need a little.. something
 

Why is it that when i try to help people all i manage to do is alienate them and make them go away? i should never try and then id never get hurt. but i believe that ppl deserve to be helped.. regardless of whether they give anything back - thats not the aim of life - giving to recieve - but why does it hurt so much when all i try to do is be friendly. ok so im not in such a good place myself right now, but that doesnt mean that i canny do anything for anyone else. im not an invalid. im just me.

but i guess that 'me' is not enough.

why does everyone leave me? Im so lonely and hurting. i just need something to hold onto.. something concrete.. because it feels like i am in a pile of quicksand.

*holds your hand* You are NOT alonehere!
Do you REALLY alienate ppl or ios that your perception of it? Or maybe it is something i call 'self-sabotage', you either feel you dont deserve friends/ppl who care so you go out of your way to brush them off, or as soon as something starts going right you panic and retreat to the workld and feelings you know and have becoem comfortable with...pain, depression, alone...
It's so easy to fall into. I do it quite often even knowing i am doing it...but itis getting better so it could for youtoo.
The ppl you ssay you have hurt or alienated, can youtalk to them, explain a little odf how you are feeling? Help them to understand and in turn help you??
And it is hard to give an give and never get back...i know that isnt the reason to give but soemtimes we ALL need a little back. Just l;ike you do right now.
PM anytime ok??
And pls keep posting if it helps you
romp