i dont know why...
 

i feel like i do right now.
i should be exploding with happiness. and i am very excited about going to see Keith.
but i feel so depressed.
it doesnt help that ive had the worst stomach cramps in a very long time. its not from my period as ive already had it. and the pain is much higher in my stomach.
i just dont feel good at all.
im snappy and im acting like a bitch.
i have a full prescription that needs to be filled but i dont have the money right now.
i still have meds but they will run out soon.
i just feel awful.
and im SICK AND TIRED of hearing about my father.
everyone is talking about him. oh, poor him. he has cancer. if it was anyone else, i would feel the same.
but im finding it hard to give a damn!!!
im rambling now and i feel like complete and utter ****.
sorry....
xxx

i should have seen it coming.
stability is not my strong point.
my ex used to say..."what in the world did you do in a past life???" meaning that i must have been some sort of evil emperor to have the life i have now.
simple...im being punished.
it hurts so much worse to feel happy and joyful and then BAM...it disappears.
im willing to just feel sad all the time. at least i know what to expect.

I'm sorry hunni I don't have anything... Please take care of yourself.
*hugs*

hey hugs you
 

Hey rachel

Its ok to feel the way you do right now, its great your going to see keith,
feeling depressed right now must be hard for you, your stomach cramps cant be helping at all Hugs you,
it must be really hard if your snappy .

Hey i hear you about the prescription and not having the money,
hugs again, can you borrow any money from someone to help out , its good right now you have enough meds .

You will be sick and tired of hearing about your father can you tell those who talk about your father to stop talking to you about him, Because it upsets you so.

Hey rachel please dont feel like a ****, Hugs you
i care very much about you
please take care, and dont be sorry its alright.

You cant allways see things coming dont be too hard on yourself right now, hey stability can be worked on and improved over time.

Hey im sorry your ex told you that grr, please dont listen to him, i dont agree with what hes said at all. You certainly wernt a bad person in a previous life, no way. how the hell he can say that to you,

your not , your not being punished because you led a bad life in your past
no . you just had bad things happen to you in this life . Your not a bad person.

Your an amazing person so caring thoughtfull and supportive,
and im greatfull to know you and be cared about by you.

I know how you feel about it hurting so much to be happy and then boom
it disapears infront of our eyes.
hugs you

Hey i know your used to feeling sad, but it wont last, there is sun above the cloud, we just cant see it right now, dont loose hope . Just remember that one day you will rise above those clouds again and the sun will shine on your face again.

much love and support
Dave

im aorry i have nothing this night tro forer
pls try to keep dage tho
luv
romp