Why am i such a jealous person!
 

Hi guys.
But even since i can remember,i have a big issue with jealously.I never really told my old councillor. But it's a big part of my life and it stops me doign a lot of stuff. Like if i'm with my boyfriend,i'll refuse to let him watch the telly because they're so many pretty girls on the telly,we either just play a game or watch a cartoon.Because we NEVER go out,we went out a few times when we started going out,but i refuse to,i don't like going anywhere,not even to the shops,unless it's by myself. It's not that i don't trust my boyfriend because it's with everybody,my friends,even my family sometimes. Even when people aren't with me,like if i'm on my own,i'll get really upset and angry just thinking about my friend or my boyfriend thinking about someone or cursing me.
When i was 7 and my dad left us,that hit me hard. I constantly told myself i was no good and his new family were obviously better than me. I guess thats what started it all off. But i'm so scared fo making friends or splitting up with my boyfriend,sometimes i worry so much,that during my worry,my friends get fed up of me. And i can't even remember the last time i went out with one of my friends.
I mean i'll be really happy one minute,then if someone puts a show on with someone nicer looking or a nice person,i freak. I get all upset and then punish myself.
I never really thought about jealousy controlling someone's life so much,but it does,and i've never told anyone before how jealous i actually am.
I really don't understand why i'm like this =[
Thanks guys xxx <3

I'm not sure whether this is relevant to you, but I've often found that jealousy often relates to feelings of insecurity. Like you say, your dad leaving seemed to cause the start of these feelings. You experienced a loss, and maybe felt betrayed and rejected, and so its hard to trust now.

Personally I'm a very jealous person. I don't think I take things to the extent you do but I'm pretty bad myself and it is because I'm insecure. I was worrying about the boy finding someone better. I hated it when he would see his friends instead of me. I hate it when my friends make plans that don't include me. It makes me feel as though they don't want to be my friends anymore. But it's all because I'm worried everyone will find out they have more fun without me.

I don't really know what to tell you about it as it's something I feel I have no control over in my own life. But, you are not alone in feeling that way as I also do.