Ditched.
 

So, I am new here. So this is my very first post on this board, which makes me feel somewhat scared.
I just really feel like I've messed up; I cut very badly. Several of them most likely need a few stitches. But I'm terrified to tell my mother, who's not even home.
The reason I cut today, was because I was supposed to hang out with two of my 'best' friends-but one bailed , and then the other did the same. And the second one, let's call her K, told me to eff off and that I'm just not listening to her and my other friend. I was so angry, that I just took the blade. And didn't even stop to think. And now, every friend except one, bless her soul, is teling me I'm overreacting or that they don't want to talk. I just feel so uselss and like I've messed up, yet again.
I know I shouldn't be alone right now, but in an odd way , I just want to be by myself. I guess I just need someone to talk to.
xo
Erika

Hi Erika and welcome to RYL.i know its scary but im glad you posted.And i hope you find friendship and support here.There are a lot of very nice and understanding people on this site!i hope to see you around more.

You seem in a very low place right now and im sorry for that and that you have cut.It sounds like you do need medical attention and arent very safe at the moment and this has to be the priority right now.i know its hard and scary but please reach out and get help.

Is their anyway you can get to the hospital? Or could someone go with you if you like?

Aside from you obviously needing physical medical help [and the sooner you get it the better] it is clear that you could also maybe do with some professional emotional support at the moment to deal with/work through your difficulties etc and the hospital may also be able to arrange this for you.

Please dont try and cope with this alone.

i am sorry for what happened with your friends.

i can well imagine you didnt need the additional upset.

i am not excusing them but it also may be that they just dont know how to deal with the issues you have etc so may not be handling this well or in the most appropriate way but im sorry they havent been more sensitive etc.This is another reason why i think it might be useful to have another outlet/professional support right now to help you through this.

Please know i/we are here if you want to talk more too and also feel free to private message me anytime.

i hope that you are safe and that you get some help.

hi well done for posting that must of been a really hard thing to do, and i think you should be very proud of yourself for doing that.

i am sorry you are feeling so bad right now. If you can't tell your mum about the self harm is there anyone else you could tell?

things will get better even if it does not feel like that right now. I am sorry your friends are treating you this way ,that must be reaally horrible but you can get through this.

if you ever want to talk feel free to pm me

Hunni,
Like I said if you think you need stitches, please do tell your mom. *HUGS* You're not useless or messed, even if you think so. It's ok to want to be by yourself, I feel like that sometimes as well. You're not overreacting, hun. You know where I am when you need to talk. xo.

Thanks for answering.
:/
Yeah, I have a sexual assault group I'm going to today in two hours. I think when I get there, that I'll tell the facilitator what happened.
I have a therapist, and psychiatrist. But they're off for Spring Break; which happens to be this week. So I won't see them and I can't call.


Yeah, my friends are probably just tired and unsure of what to do.
:S

*Hug*

Thanks.
*HUGS*

Thank you. *Hugs*
Yeah, I'm going to tell a group facilitator when I go today.

:}

*Hugs* Welcome to ryl :) Im really sorry to hear about whats happened with your friends. How are you feeling today? Please dont be so hard on yourself. I can understand you being angry. Your not useless or a failure, slipping up is all part of recovery but that doesnt make you a failure or mean that your back to square one. Its great that you have support, im sorry that they are on spring break at the moment. Please make sure that you look after your cut/s so that they do not become infected. I also advise you to go to A&E due to you sounding quite unsafe. I dont want anything bad to happen to you.

Please make sure that you speak to someone about whats happened, so that they can give you the support you need. Try to distract yourself as much as possible. Here is the fun and distractions forum http://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum...splay.php?f=22 This is the big distractions page http://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum...ead.php?t=1403 Im sorry for the upset that they caused you, you do not deserve that at all. Please keep safe, look afte ryourself. Im here for you.

Take care all the best Ian

Thank you, honey.
Yeah, i talked to my sexual assault advocate, and I see my therapist in a week and a half *shrugs*
I considered going to the ER, but I knew that my mom would call me an attention seeker.

Meh.
Thank you (/: