why dont i feel better??????
 

i was sexually abused as a kid from age 8 to 16 by my older brother and spent years letting it affect me. i couldnt eat or sleep without thinking about it. eventually last year (15 years after it stopped) i thought it was repressed anger and told my family all about it. but things only got worse for me resulting in SH and suicidal thoughts. so a few months ago i decided enough was enough and thought (stupidly) that if i forgave him maybe i could move on.

but i cant. i havent SH for nearly a year now but still had those thoughts on a massive scale and thought they would all go away. WHY? i just want to get on with my life and look forward instead of back. i have now been signed off by my therapist cos i havent SH but still feel like i need help. i dont want to think about it for the rest of my life. grrrr why oh why is it always there

I'm sorry you've had to go through that, and that you're still having a rough time.
I don't think you could ever forgive someone for that, and no one should expect you to.
Have you told your therapist that you still need help? If they aren't helping, can you try to see someone else?

Hun, do you have any professional help? Maybe if you had counselling or something it could help you move on from it? xo.

If your therapist has signed you off, can you go to your doctor and explain how you are feeling and that you want some help. I know things are hard now but you don't have to deal with it on you own and if you can get help and work through what has happened to you then you can move on with your life and things will get easier.
Take care of yourself love
x

Firstly, *huge hugs*. I'm so sorry that you had to go through that kind of abuse, and I am proud of you for managing to open up to your family, even if it didn't do much good back then. I can only imagine how hard it is to try and move on that. You should be proud that you haven't selfharmed for a year, that's really amazing stuff hunny. I'm not going to pretend I know what you're going through, because honestly, I haven't a clue, but I'm here if you ever need to talk okay? I'll try my best to help you x