i dont have a title
 

im really sorry to post, i just dont know where else to turn. ill probably just end up deleting this anyway, sorry

im really struggling at the moment. my thoughts are getting bad. yesterday i was panicking cus i couldnt recognise what was real, i was getting myself all confused and feeling extremely detached. today my paranoia is bad. i cant help thinking that everywhere there are signs telling me that im not supposed to be here. and if anyone says its not the case it just causes me to think theyr against me and dont want me to see the truth. im still struggling with my thoughts about reality too

i see my gp every few weeks, but theres not alot he can do really. my dad knows about my depression but i think he finds just being down for no apparent reason hard enough to understand. iv distanced myself from all my friends so i cant turn to any of them and uni doesnt seem to really want to help. these things in themselves appear to me as signs.

i just have depression, i dont suffer from anything else, maybe i dont even have depression. which also adds to me thinking that what i think is true

im sorry if this makes no sense. im not even sure why im posting. iv just got too many thoughts trapped inside me right now

Could you ask your GP for a referral to a psychologist/psychiatrist, someone you could talk this through with?

Awh, everything must be so confusing for you right now, sweet. Hmm, could you ask your GP for a counsellor or a therapist maybe? It could help just talking about these thoughts, it could make them alot less confusing for you. Take care. xo.

he referred me to counselling and im currently on a 6 month waiting list for counselling, no idea how much longer im gonna have to wait. things are just getting very hard, and my thoughts are just getting worse and im not sure what to do anymore

is there anyway you can maybe find a psychiatrist/psychologist on your own? six month is too long when youre feeling the way you are.
try to see if you can get more immediate help

*hugs* take care hun

where am i gonna get more immediate help though? i cant afford private help, unfortunately the nhs and waiting lists are all i have
maybe i should be more honest with my gp about how bad things are getting. but then theres only so much i can say in 5mins and what can he really do? i mean hes already got me a referral for counselling. and im scared that if im honest about my thoughts hes going to judge me, or overreact, or do nothing. i dont know
im just tired and fed up tonight, by mind is tiring me out

i think you should try being honesty with your gp.
tell him youre worried about him judging and overreacting. if you do tell him the truth, he might be able to get you help quicker.

let me know if i can do anything to help.

I definitely think being more honest with your GP would be a good start, he would know if there are any emergency/short term measures he can put in place to help you, until the counselling is available.