follow up to " I FUCKING QUIT LIFE. GOD DAMMIT." (what happened that/last night)
 

so last night i made the thread "i fucking quit life. god dammit."
and i was extremely suicidal. this is just a follow up on that.
i ended up writing a suicide letter, and sitting by the medicine
cabinet for ten minutes. thank god i had it in me to text one of
my friends. she threatened to call my parents so i called her.
her mom over heard our conversation and called my parents.
we sat there for like ten minutes discussing whether i should be
sent to the hospital or not. i should be.. but i convinced them that
i'm okay.. at least for another night. the thing is.. it just hasn't been
getting much better. however i am so inspired to help other people on
RYL that it has been helping me out a little. i just want people to know
that i will always be here for any of you.. and good things really can come
out of these horrible horrible HORRIBLE situations. i am nowhere near recovered but in rare moments like this when i do see the light i believe things really have potential to get better. we can do it. we have to help one another.

Awhh hun, I'm glad you didn't hurt yourself and called your friend. *HUGS*
I'm happy that you like to help other people. :) Keep fighting, we can all get through this. Take care. xo.

i believe that right now. idk how much longer i will though.

im really proud of you. *hugs* you did it! and it was hard, but you can do it.

take advantage of today thinking positively. :)

You should be very, very proud of yourself for reaching out and calling someone, a massive well done to you - that's a very brave thing to have done.

Keep fighting. xxxx

Oh, and perhaps, whilst you are feeling good, you can put things into place that will help you to keep safe when you feel low? Maybe that's worth having a go at. xx

yeah that's a good idea.

i'm glad your parents were supportive. :) keep talking to people when you feel bad.

today i told my therapist about that break down and she told me by calling my friend i am ruining my reputation and trying to get attention. she also told me i am starting unnecessary drama. ugh.

First of all, I want to say that I'm glad you are still with us and that you had enough strength in you to call your friend.
It's great that your parents were good to you too.
Life does that sometimes, doesn't it? Just turns around when you think it can't get worse.

And secondly, my old counciler said something like that to me right before I went into the hospital.
She said that I needed to get a new best friend (my bff of the time was in the hospital 12 hours away because she was having mental issues).
I said "fuck you" and I haven't been to see her since.
Got a new counciller.
Maybe you could try that with your therapist.

Getting a new one, I mean! Hah!
Maybe skip the f you bit.

Anyways...
Much love,
~Ashley

thanks :) but just like that.. the light is gone.