Why did i do it ?
 

I cut again i just can't beat this idk why i just can't
i keep going back to it after everything.
My ex boyfriend hit me today and called me every name he could think of becasue my arms and he said he wished i could be nomal and be like his friends girl friend. he yelled at me and slaped me and grabed my arm and sqeezed it really hard he shoke me by my shoulders and woulnd't let go then he said he was sorry but got mad and just left me out side bleeding and then i cut again after he left and i didn't know what to do. He says that me cutting is hurting him but i don't know how it could?
What did i do to deseve this?
Is this the only way i'm gna be able to stop SI by being hurt in another way?
Why can't he just love me like hes supost to and be supportive

I personally think you shouldn't put up with his ungrateful, horrible, abusive behaviour. Next time he hits you, tell him you'll call the police.

Hun, you don't deserve this at all.
Can you tell someone what he has been doing to you?
Take care. xo.

no i can't because i can't let him get in trouble maybe i deseved this maybe i hurt him and so he has to hurt me

Noone has the right to hurt you hun, no matter how you feel, and there is certainly no way he should be treating you like this because of your SI.

You deserve someone supportive. Please consider getting out of this now before it gets even more difficult to leave....

*Here's a wee bit of courage to help you reach out for help*

Take care,
jen xx

but how do i get out of this....?
I want to but then theres that part of me who doesn't just like wanting to stop SHing i want to because i want to be free but i don't want to because it's all i can do to feel. Free and sane and to cope with everything