RYL Forums - back where i was.. *graphic*

UGH. so they say when you are at rock bottom the only place you can go is up right? well i mean i guess that's true.. for like a day. then it all goes back. I hadn't cut in just over a month.. until yesterday. After I got put on suicide watch, my parents were really sweet for like 2 days. Then they just started pissing me off again. and i got mad.. and depressed again.. and here i am again. I carved FML (f*** my life) into my wrist. and HELP on my ankle. but no one can help. and this SHIT keeps coming back. and i am F****ING tired of it. it isn't fair and i can't take it. i can only be strong for so long. my therapist is all like i'm gonna tech you self-talk because if you think in a positive way you will feel so much happier. how i am supposed to think good things out of bad situations? i'm not. it's not fair. i need help.. but i know no one can help me. someone hold me.. and wipe my tears. i asked where the scissors were for homework.. and they hid them. and the knives. i'm pissed and nothing is working. nobody understands. I CAN'T LIVE LIKE THIS. and i probably sound like a stuck up brat.. ahh. please don't comment like i am here for you things will get better. because they never do.. and i get let down time and time again.