I'm crumbling and breaking inside
 

Sorry, I'm posting another thread within the same week, it's just things are utterly awful for me.
I keep giving advice to people, yet I'm breaking inside. I think I actually had a breakdown today. I just cannot even convey how low I feel. My meds haven't kicked in, and I have been on them for a month, I see my gp every week and I will start seeing my cpn soon. So why are things just not improving? Someone asked me a question which was, when was the last time you were truly happy? I realised that the answer was never.
I cut bad the other day, and I feel so ashamed. I hate this life and I hate me, I have now concluded that I have no purpose in this world, not for myself anyway, only for others to do what they want with me.
I felt so suicidal a few hours ago. I want to die. I need to end this pain, becasue all of the other methods that I'm trying are just not working. So yes, death is an option. I know lots of people say that on here, but I do mean it.
I just feel like I'm cracking, I'm breaking inside, I'm in agony, I just want out, why did this all happen to me? I must have deserved it. Becasue the people who did it to me just get away with it. I don't know why I'm posting, maybe some ideas or support would be grateful and appreciated.

First of all, there's no need to apologise for posting another thread, you can post as many as you feel you need to. I think that while you are feeling this low you should focus more on yourself rather than giving advice to other people as it seems like you are the one needing support at the moment.
I'm sorry that you are feeling so bad and that you felt the need to cut badly. (Are you looking after the cut ok?).
You didn't deserve any of the bad things that happened to you, honestly, not at all.
I suggest that the next time you see your GP you tell them that the meds are not helping at all and also how very low you've been feeling.

I'm really sorry that you are feeling so bad.

(hugs)

You can get through this though. Trust me.

Catherine x

reply
 

hi hun
please dont do that we are here to help you ,your precious and special talk to us we will support you and we will listen to you too
take care .



free spirit

Sweetie, you don't deserve this. *HUGS*
I'm so sorry you're feeling like this. Are you getting any professional help/support? If not, could you possibly talk to someone who could support you through this difficult time? It's important you tell someone who can help you, especially if you are/were feeling suicidal. Take care, remember we're always here. xo.