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-   -   Keeping Things Honest With A Loved One (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=89407)

constellations 16-03-2009 05:03 AM

Keeping Things Honest With A Loved One
 
I think this can go here, I could be entirely wrong though I can't seem to think where else it would fit (though it might just be my insomnia-addled brain.)

Labelled for safety.

Moving swiftly on...


How would you approach the topic of self-injuring to a loved one?

I have a general policy of keeping relationships honest and while my boyfriend is aware I used to self harm, he doesn't know about the recent relapse (due to him being struck with flu and obviously, it's not something I want to go into with him while he's ill). I'm thinking of approaching it later this week, when he's back at uni and hopefully fully recovered.

Unfortunately, the last time I got into this discussion with him, I got a response of "Yeah, well I'm glad you stopped, I hate that selfish bullshit," and, as a result, I am not looking forward to this conversation and have no idea how to even tactfully bring it up. I know I don't want to have him find the scars before I speak to him about it.

Any advice?

Ms Tears Keep Fallin 16-03-2009 05:33 AM

i think rather than just come out and tell him you first need to show him some information about this to show him it's not selfish bullshit tell him you were a little offened by this comment and would like him to read about it before you discuss it any further you could say you want him to be informed so he can help you look for the signs of a relapse and see how he reacts to the idea that you may infact have a relapse good luck and take care

Katiee 16-03-2009 09:17 PM

I think it's a good idea that you want to speak to him about it. *HUGS*
I think you should explain to him about self-injury and that slip ups do happen during recovery. Hope it goes well. Take care. xo.

momo432 16-03-2009 09:21 PM

i think honesty would be better than him finding out himself, but i donl't know how you should!
sorry i have no advice

constellations 17-03-2009 02:56 AM

Thanks guys. :) I'm definitely going to broach the topic when he comes back, provided he looks close to 100% (because I know this isn't the kind of thing I'd like to hear in his shoes, straight off the flu). Tell you how it goes.

momo432 17-03-2009 08:55 AM

good luck! hope it goes okay =]


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