one last chance
 

:hazard: :hazard: :hazard: firstly before i start, this is my first post (for about 4 years) and i just read the rules...seems to me like its a little bit of a human rights negection so i better watch what comes out of my big ugly mouth, granted these hoods are there for our protection...

secondly, theres a lot of threads here which is a good thing i guess as i just need to write it down (and evidently post it on the internet for the world to see...dumb fuck...)

right then,

i'm struggling...im now officially addicted to alchole (and evidently can't spell the word seeing as im drunk right now)..i'm alone...and the worst part is im no longer affraid...i am intreagued of whats to happen after you know? its like a mystery...i just want to know what happens...

my life is a mess, i've lost it all, all i want to do is teach and part wisdom but i might not even be able to do that soon.. my life is in the hands of 15 strangers...its a contest of who has the sweetest smile

everyone i know thinks im sick...im deserted


so know to my aim, i give it one last shot


thankyou my lovers...

I'm sorry that things are so difficult for you right now, I hope it helped for you to write down your thoughts. It sounds like things have been hard for such a long time that you have become resigned and hopeless, that you don't see a way to make things change for the better so you are thinking about letting things get to the point where you could take your own life. You don't have to go through this alone, the fact that you are having these thoughts shows that you really need some support. What could you add to your life to make it at least a little better for you? Having some goals and a focus for life would be helpful for you. Perhaps there is a way that you can begin to teach on a small level to begin with, while you start on your recovery journey.

You say that everyone you know thinks that you're sick, do you think that you are sick? I hope that you can find a way through this. Please take care.

Hey,
I'm sorry to hear that. Please, please talk to someone about how you're feeling. There is loads of help for people who have an alcohol addiction. Get an appointment with your GP who will be the best person to tell you what help is available. Take care, sweetie. xo.

thankyou...i just want to stop this...its all gone out of control...

If you're out of control, get yourself back in the driving seat. You are the only person who can do that, and you can do this - your illness is just a manifestation of something, it's just a part of you - you can be in control of it.

Try to reach out, try to get as much support as possible from surrounding people - friends, family, doctors - and try to find somebody to talk to, whether it's a therapist or a crisis line.

You can do this, you can beat this. It's a slow, strenuous process - but it's worth it.

Take care
Joanna x