Can you see what i see??
 

i cant stop my hallucinations. I see pigs jumping out and trucks and when they get within 2 feet of me, their legs turn to spears, i see letters of the alphabet floating thru the air and spelling out "we can see you", i see animal body parts, full of blood lying around, scorpions and beetles crawling around, cuts on my hands. My voices tell me to kill myself and to stab other people.

I dont know what to do, my medication for it is already as high as it can be and it IS the best one ive ever been on (and ive been on most of the anti-psychotics) it helps a bit, as when i am off it they are more real to me, but its still not exactly brilliant. my shrink is terrible at administrating meds so i cant talk to her and my therapist just says to use "mindfulness" skills which dont help.

i dont know what else to do.

If your psychiatrist is not good at sorting out your medication you don't have to put up with that. Go back to your GP, explain the problem and ask to be referred to another psychiatrist, preferably one who specialises in treating psychotic disorders. A lot of regular psychiatrists and therapists are not used to dealing with people with more severe mental illness like psychosis, so sometimes you just have to see a specialist. For example I had a great psychiatrist, but when he realised I had Anorexia, he referred me on to a psychiatrist who specialised in treating eating disorders, because he admitted that he didn't know much about it. And then I got to see a therapist who specialised in treating people with ed's too.

You're not getting the professional help you need. Sadly that is often the case with the NHS mental health services, but you DO NOT have to put up with that. You're entitled to competent specialist treatment. Don't be afraid to speak up for yourself and demand the treatment that you need and deserve.

Take care

I agree if you do not feel you are getting the help you need go to your gp and explain what you have said here and ask to be reffered to someone else because this is obviously going to be very distresing for you.
*cuddles*
I know its hard but sometimes you have to fight for the help you deserve.
Take care of yourself sweetie
xx

Hun,
If your psych isn't good with meds please find someone who is. *HUGS*
Take care. xo.