monthly reminder of how wrong I am
 

This happens every month. I can't stand it.
You would think that after 6-8 years I would be used to this already, but I'm not and I still hate it as much as when it started.
It makes me feel sick and wrong and like I'm forced to be something I don't want to be. Why does it feel so wrong? Why won't it stop before I'm 40-50?
I want it to stop. I don't want to give birth, I don't intend on giving birth, I don't need my uterus to prepare itself 12ish times a year for a fucking fetus that will never come. I don't even need my uterus.
It is really sick that I am semi-hoping that I have a reason to have it removed like my mother did. Then this wouldn't be an issue.
Maybe then I would feel less wrong.
IhatethisIhatethisIhatethisIhatethis
it's all so wrongwrongwrongwrong.

I'm so wrong.
all wrong.

Ceapeach,
I'm sorry you feel so wrong.

Why in particular does it make you feel so poorly? Is it because you so firmly don't want children? If you started taking the pill, your periods would stop, have you considered that?

What do you feel forced to be? Female? Maternal?

Here and listening,
Ash

I know how you feel .. but i think my reasons are different from yours??

It makes me feel like a woman. But i dont want to be one.
It makes me feel like i am too fat, if i was thin, then i wouldnt have them.
And i think its an incovnience. And i just would rather they stopped, and i became infertile.


*squishes* x

This post is probably a repetition of Ash's, but here goes:

There is the option of going on the pill, which would at least remove part of the problem through stopping you having periods, although, from what I know, you can only use it for a certain amount of time for health reasons before having to come off and go back on (I could be wrong).

The other question would be what are the reasons behind your feelings, so the question would be is this an issue with being forced to be female or with maternal issues?

In a way I can empathise with your feelings on this, but perhaps from within the confines of a different situation.

I have considered the pill... but for multiple health reasons my doctors said I shouldn't take it unless I decide to have sex with a male.

This is an issue with being female, not a maternal issue. I actually want to have children, I just don't think I am the one that is supposed to give birth to them. I'll make my partner carry the fetuses or we will adopt.

Thank you for the responses.
I also fail at this monthly thing and it's gross that I have to wash blood out of clothing every month, because I'm stupid and always forget. It also means that I have to wear underwear opposed to boxers, and that is uncomfortable.

I want to have a hysterectomy.

ok, yep, I can understand where you are coming from, although, I'm not sure what advice I have on the matter.

In terms of the underwear you use, yes boxers just don't work in that situation, erm, have you tried other, tighter fitting variates of "man pants" because I find there are some types which you can use in that situation, like (dare I say it) y fronts or boxer briefs (I had to look that up, hooray for being knowledgeable!) because yep, boxers just don't work.

I know that changing underwear types may not be much consolation since your body will still be doing the same thing, but it might make a slight improvement.

I think that is all I can advise, but perhaps someone else will write something more useful.

You can just say you are considering sex to get the pill and whether you are able to stay on them and never have a period depends entirely on your body. There was a woman who was like in her 40s and hadn't had one since she was 16 and put on the pill and had no ill effects with it. I've tried it cause I hate them too (not cause I feel like a boy but cause I get thrush every time) but my boobs hurt if I'm off it for too long and my body just feels wrong. I'm not your doctor but if he says you can be put on them when you're considering having sex with a guy then there should be no medical reason not to be put on it, you'll just have to work together to find the right one for you.

As for wearing panties instead of boxers have you tried using a tampon instead? That way you wont need the undies. Tampons are great cause you feel normal even though you're bleeding. You just have to remember that they are there or you will end up with a lot of embaressing stains when they fill up. I don't know if it will be a solution since it will be continually reminding you that you have female bits since you gotta stick it up there but it is another option to consider. If you're regular try marking it on your calendar, counting the 28 days ahead, marking when youre due, then marking the day you actually get it and counting ahead again. That's what I did before I went on the pill and when I was due or if I started feelign the twinge in my belly (I get really bad cramps) or heavy painful boobs, I start wearing a pad/tampon just in case.

Hope it helps

I've used tampons from the very beginning... I can't comprehend how people can use pads and feel comfortable ever. I've tried the counting thing, but usually I'm too disorganized to remember to mark it on the same calender and I also hate having that reminder.
I'll deal. I've dealt this long... I do appreciate the support from you all though, so thank you.

You could do what my partner does and wear girls pants and boxers during that time?

have you considered a hysterectomy?

shortest post ever.. sorry.

Hunn,
I know how you feel. *HUGS*
There's nothing you can do about it, it's apart of life.
Why do you hate them so much? xo.

Sometimes people cant go in the pill if they've had breast cancer, stroke, blood clot or in some cases other 35.

People need to be careful include: smokers, overweight people, histrory of cancers in family etc.

((Thats waht my booklet says but im on dianette)).

Im not sure about any other advice xx