Frustration in Chat
 

So, not sure where to post this, and it's not really a question, but I needed to say something. Chat is frustrating the crap out of me. Well, actually, it's some people in chat. The same people monopolize the conversation with topics that are against rules. Whenever you point out that what they are talking about is against the rules, they get pissed. One of them loves to flaunt their sexuality. They love to throw the words gay and bi around all the time, but if you object to what they say, you're screwed. You will attacked by them and their loyal posse for your point of view. Since most of their convo's are around sex, if you say, "hey, this chat is against rules and could be upsetting for some people," they will most likely say, "sex is natural so what's the problem." Well there is a problem. Not everyone agrees with that kind of talk. I think it is wrong and nasty. It is perverted talking about that in a chat. It is natural, but I believe sex should be saved for marriage and even then it shouldn't be discussed in a chat like this. It seems like certain people can voice they're beliefs, and even sometimes attack you with their beliefs, but yet, if you try to voice your beliefs or even oppose theirs, you get attacked. That doesn't seem fair. I don't necessarily want to voice my beliefs or opinions on certain things in chat, because chat isn't for that sort of thing. It's for support and distraction. Everyone should have to follow the rules. Supposedly mods do the best they can, but I believe they are falling short. There is no consistent rule enforcement. I have reported things continuously and nothing has happened that I know of, because the same people I've reported continue to break the same rules over and over. I'm going to continue to report. I'm not going to be tolerant of rule breaking. If someone is breaking the rules and continue after they are asked to quit, I'm reporting them. Even if that means reporting things numerous times of days, eventually the chat mods will have to do something about it.

Does this annoy anyone else?? Does anyone else have this problem??

I didn't mention names because I believe that would be wrong. I don't know if this will get deleted or not.

If you are juding chat on tonight...
lots of it was against the rules and offensive and really upset me.
However its not always like that...promise

I know it's not always like that,, but lately it has been a lot more than normal. The SAME people too, and I'm sure you know who I'm talking about.

Yes I do.
All I can suggest is reporting them.
They're breakin the rules and its unfair.
Just dont tar us all with the same brush.

it sounds like you should report whatever happened. I don't go in chat, but if someone has a log saved, then reporting it sounds like the way to go. From what I do know, while it does get very busy, it's often a pretty friendly place to be :)

Chat-report can become your best friend.

Also, if it's not a really busy time, I recommend hopping alone into another room. Chances are, there are people just as offended as you, and they'll follow you.

Chat can really be lovely, and I urge you to give it a few chances.

Honestly - i'm all for a few laughy innuendo jokes in GENERAL rooms, as in, ones that we all have a laugh on (the whole room joins in), not dirty disgusting tactless abusive sh*t that's gone on this evening.

I thought the behaviour was appauling and i'm pretty sure the people involved will be dealt with.

But as Heidi has said..it really isn't always like this, and it's a shame you had to see chat at it's worst.
If you ever do have problems don't hesitate to report to a chat moderator. You can also save the chatlog to give to the moderators for evidence aswell.

*hug* Keep your chin up x

Yeah, I usually like chat, and most people are awesome. i will continue to report it. I have a feeling the mods will be hearing from me daily. lol

I think this also makes the case for my previous post on this forum about either a more loosely ran chat or a safe room chat, or both. Reporting doesn't seem to do much, people do it anyways, might as well create a place where both poles can go about without upsetting the others.

I came in at the very end of what I think you're refering to, and only saw appologies and not the content that was upsetting. While I would believe sex should be allowed to be discussed, it seemed what was being said was more crude comments than actual discussion; as well as done in the Support room when people asked for it to end.

If there was a room for these people to go to and comment anything they want, or a room for when its just a general conversation (not in support, unless it's a support issue) whoever feels offended could go to a different room, I think it would solve it without having to perform massive bans on members whom may need this site.

I highly doubt jokes such as "Open your vagina", and jokes about child abuse/rape and rather sick racist jokes are appropriate for ANY chatroom.

I mean, I can understand someone needed to talk about sex in relations to maybe if they were abused or raped or even if they have and addiction to sex that they are seeking help to. But I don't think there needs to be a room made for people to go to talk about sex in any other way then the ways I mentioned. If they feel they need to talk that way, there are plenty of adult sites for that, this in not one of them.

What about questions/comments having to do with relationships, sex being an aspect of them regardless of some peoples religious and personal choices, or a funny story to tell a friend? I would agree with your first point of why it might be discussed, but I think there are other acceptable and relatively civil (at least if everyone else in the room is okay with it) ways to talk about it, which in my opinion shouldn't be disallowed.

As for Acrasia, I would agree with you, those are inappropriate for any room.

Well, although sex is a part of relationships, I can't really think of anyway it would need to be discussed. And you're point about relatively civil if everyone agrees sex chat, the problem is that it's hard for people to speak up and say hey It's bugging me. ANd like tonight when people did, they can get crap for speaking up. So, I believe that is one of the reasons sex talk is already against rules.

Ok, I was not in chat tonight so I have no idea what you are talking about in that respect. One thing I did notice you say is sex should be after marraige. Not everyone agrees with that...in fact, alot of people won't agree with that, and I see nothing wrong with talking about sex in a general forum as long as it does no overstep the mark.

I don't see why I cannt talk about sex, problems, non problems to do with it even though I am not talking about sexual abuse etc. Sex is a big part of my life, or it was when I was with someone, and sometimes I need to talk to someone regarding that aspect of my life. I do not want an adult chat because I am not neccessaraly looking for that type of convosation, merly for someone to say "yeah thats ok" "thats not ok".

From wha i understand tonight was unusual and disgusting, however, why should all talks of sex, apart from abusive sexual pasts, be banned?

Maybe I feel the need to discuss it? Maybe I would like opinions of people I consider my friends over an issue that has to do with sex? You may not want to discuss such things, and they may not be issues for you, but they are for other people. STDs, cheating, feeling vulnerable, feeling lonely, drunken mistakes, girlfriend/boyfriend issues, funny stories, etc, I could see countless legitimate reasons why sex should be allowed to be discussed; obviously not in the fashion as Acarsia mentioned though.

I don't want to keep bringing this up in this topic since I had my own, but if there were a room for people to be able to discuss these things, you wouldn't have to worry about speaking up about it considering you wouldn't be exposed to it in the first place, and both parties would be happy.

Why should it be allowed? RYL isn't an everything goes site, it's for specific things. If you aren't discussing those specific things why are you here? There are tons of other mediums to use to discuss non-RYL things. Various messenger clients (many of which allow group chats), other chat rooms, social networking sites, e-mail etc etc etc.

I can see where you are coming from in a sense Dream. And if it is linked with their depression or cutting and is stated in a way which is appropriate, then I don't see a problem if it is in Serious Chat. In fact, I have seen that sort of conversation happen in Serious Chat and it is fine. If people have a problem with it, if they feel triggered, they move rooms, just as they would if they were triggered by another topic. But, like you said, the chat that happened tonight was ridiculous and keeps happening.

Sorry, didn't know we're only allowed to discuss things that depress us, and refer to our mental state and disorders. I thought it was supose to be a community, with genuine connections and conversations with friends.

I would agree to your sentiment in the Support chat, which is why I'm not a fan of what took place tonight, but as far as general goes, it should be covered in general.

Like just recently in chat, if someone wants to tell a story about their night and how they hooked up with someone, why shouldn't they be able to? Is that not allowed, not general, or and issue or aspect about their life they would like to share with supposed friends?

Right, don't think I'm defending what took place tonight; I wasn't witness to it to make a judgement, but if its anything similar to what Acarsia stated it seems inapporpriate, especially for a support chat.

I just want to dismiss the notion that every and all mention of anything relatively sexual as bad and taboo, it can be a real issue of discussion for many people on this site.

Again, I apologise you were exposed to something you distaste of tonight, hopefully something can be done to take better consideration in the future.

Well, consider the fact that this is a support site for Eating Disorders and Self-Injury. It is also a place were people should feel comfortable. And I know I'm not comfortable when people talk about their latest hookup. And I believe many people aren't comfortable around that. This isn't a site to come and just talk about anything. It serves a purpose for support and distraction. And it is supposed to be a community, a community where everyone feels welcome and safe and comfortable. There are plenty of other places on the internet where you can have casual conversations about sex with your friends. And I didn't say you are only allowed to talk about things that depress you, but pertaining to sex conversations, it would be best to only discuss sexual issues in which you need help.