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-   -   Threw it away. (SI/SH Trigger) (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=88079)

KatieKat314 06-03-2009 02:18 AM

Threw it away. (SI/SH Trigger)
 
I feel bad...and I need someone to know what I did.

Monday night, I threw away at least 6 months of being SI-free. The cuts weren't bad...nothing deep.
I feel guilty, I really do. And I feel even worse because mostly all I can think about now is cutting again...and how much I WANT TO. Ugh.

I'm sorry, I just needed to get that off of my chest. I have no one to confide in anymore, it seems. :(

Country Girl 06-03-2009 02:50 AM

You can confide in us :) You didn't throw it all way. You still went six months without it. You slipped up, you stumbled, you just have to be strong and believe in yourself. Pick yourself up and dust yourself off. There's always another day :)

Katiee 06-03-2009 03:13 AM

Heyy,
I'm sorry to hear that! *HUGS*
Keep trying hun. I know it's hard once you've slipped up and then you think do you really want to try again, but you can do it again! :) xx

KatieKat314 06-03-2009 12:26 PM

Thanks. :)
I do feel a bit better now that I've gotten it off my chest. Makes the urge to do it again less demanding, I think.
And I'm very glad I found this place. I don't think I've ever felt so welcome anywhere before.
-hugs-

x_nomirrors_x 06-03-2009 12:31 PM

There's a difference between a slip up and throwing it away. I don't think you've thrown anything away in the greater scheme of things, we all slip up from time to time it's just a part of recovery I think

Take care

KatieKat314 06-03-2009 09:13 PM

That's a really good way to think about it...I like that. I'll keep it in mind. Thanks!

Nineflyz 06-03-2009 09:43 PM

i totally agree with x nomirrors x, throwing something away is the same as giving up. slipping up means that you are still striving to be clean but made a mistake. the best thing about recovery is that you can have it anytime you want. so when you mess up you just start again. good luck and don't bash yourself over the head to much

Amaryllis 06-03-2009 10:49 PM

Slip ups happen sometimes. I slipped up once after eleven months.

Just take a deep breath and get back to getting yourself free.

Good luck! :)


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