no point...
 

first time in months...i have a flashback today. if this were someone else..id tell then its only a setback. but i cant seem to tell myself this.
ive been awake well over 48 hours and still cannot sleep despite taking sleep meds.

still no harming...still no drinking...but still no FEELING BETTER!!!

when does THAT happen????

isnt that the point of "recovery"?
and if not...what the **** is the the point????

Aww, *hands you a cup of tea and a blanket* I'm glad that you haven't SI'ed or drank. It shows that you are strong. Maybe you are feeling better just a tiny bit. Its shows by you not SI'ing or drinking.

I don't know if what I said helps but I'm just a PM away if you like!

the feeling better part of recovery for me was being able to stand proud that i had stopped harming.

finding better ways to cope. knowing that whilst the depresson made me feel bad, it wasn't physically harming me anymore.

if you can't tell yourself, then i will, rachel this is just a setback.

some people would say that it is possible to overcome depression the same way you overcame harming, ignore it, be stronger than it. i know it is different for every person though and that might not be your experience.
love you, mand x

It could just be a setback.
And you are doing soo well not drinking or harming, that shows that you are further along the path of recovery than you think. You are demonstrating great strength resisting these things when you feel so low.
Not sleeping is awful, but you will sleep in the end. I hope it comes soon for you. xxxx

Hey, I've just seen this cos I'm never around anymore but I hope you're feeling better than you did. I totally relate to that thing you said about "what's the point". It does seem like getting healthy and sober and not harming is meant to lead to a state of bliss or harmony or just contentment. The way I see it, now that we're not dealing with out of the ordinary troubles like that we have to deal with the same problems as everyone else, the normal ones. Life, I guess they call it. Doesn't it suck?

We're alive though and we're safe and we're not hurting those we love. That, I believe, is the point.

xxxxxx

It is just a setback. We all have them. It will pass in a few days. You will feel better for not having self injured or had a drink.

*hugs you*
*hands you a dr.pepper*