Why? Oh, why?
 

My parents split up when I was ten. Their relationship was terrible, violent, abusive, just a hideous situation to be in. And I still haven't really got over that. I would probably say the impact of that was one of the things that led me to SI. On my sixteenth birthday my mother disowned me, after having another daughter - to replace the accident, and the screw up. However, shortly before that... the November, I think... my Dad remarried, and now she's talking about divorcing him. She's a bizarre woman, who openly doesn't like me - not for anything I do, but for who I am. She also hates my Dad's occupation. I doubt she'll do it... she's too much of a coward, words and no actions... but you never know - s'not as if I know her particularly well.

Is it always going to be me, and my fault, that everything falls apart?

Is it so much just to ask for a normal family? A normal life? Happiness?

*Grumble*

Sorry. Just had to moan.

Sorry.

I can entirely understand the parents splitting up aged ten thing. It's a really awkward age too... Just when things are changing physically and mentally for you, and the last thing you need are the pressures of a marriage break up.

And yet you're still standing strong, so fair play to you. Try not to get too involved in your parents' decisions. I mean, their marriages are not your fault, your business (without sounding mean there!). It isn't your responsibility, you don't have to be worrying about it too much.

None of this is your fault! The adults in your life obviously have issues. Normal families don't really exist. You soon learn that. Every single family has a problem, whether it's financial, mental illness, physical illness... all families have problems.

I think you should take a wee break from your family, get out of the house, spend some time with friends, try to enjoy yourself. It's like..you're young, you shouldn't have to be worrying about your father's marriage problems or anything like that. You only have one life, go out and enjoy yourself! Understandably it's not that simple, but even if you can find some goodness in your life, enjoy the wee things in it...do wee things to make you happy and try keep things positive.

I'll shush now. I hope you'll be OK.
xo

Please don't blame yourself, hun. It's really not your fault at all. I know you're not in the best situation right now, but things can and will get better in time. No family is ever normal really and every one has its problems. Try to learn from your family and love them, but don't let the situation make you feel there's anything wrong with you. Hang in there.

Take care of yourself.